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For Aubrey Plaza

Mom, you were it for me, too,

Your kitchen my Four Seasons,

Your den my own true den

Of social interaction--your facility

With diatonic accordion

Unparalleled. But then, how

To put this? You turned Freudian,

Almost perfectly Oedipal,

Clinging to my "package,"

Threatening me with "snakes,"

Complimenting my backside

Backhandedly ("Sure was fun

To spank that," to your hag pals)

And all on your blog, in public.

I had loved you truly in private,

Because, truth be told, you're hot.